Slot 12: Know, Like, Trust

I wish there was an easier way to break this to you. The BNI is a bit of a sham. Unfortunatly - many of you may have been under false impressions. Perhaps you thought that the little brown referral slips were part of the secret to getting more business by word of mouth. Perhaps you thought it was the business card folder that made sure new clients came your way. You might even have thought that your lapel badge was the secret to networking success.

In reality - none of that is true. You see - people are people and all the BNI does is to put some structure around what happens 'in the wild' naturally. In truth, we all get referrals every day and we pass them on to people who wouldn't know a BNI meeting if it hit them in the face. So lets think about how referrals work 'au natural'.

1) You get to know someone in a pub, playing sport or just through friends. They seem like an amiable type and after a few more meetings you start to ...
2) ... like them. You organise a few social events together. Hang out or maybe just go for a coffee. After some time you eventually get to ...
3) ... trust them. They seem like a decent type. They turn up to the match on time, know how to play super mario cart on the hardest setting. You have the measure of them.

It is only then that you feel like you can recommend them to someone else. You wouldn't recommend someone you did not know. You wouldn't even recommend someone you did not like. You certainly wouldn't recommend someone you did not trust.

The same is true for the our merry little band. We all know each other because we turn up every week. Ask yourself this question though - how many people in this room do I actually like? More than that - how many people do I trust?

How do you get to like and trust someone? By getting to know them. That is easily done but takes some effort Thankfully this doesn't need to be a chore. A one-2-one is a great way to get going. Better again, when we do organise a social event for the chapter - make the effort to get along so that you can learn to like and trust the members in the group. That can only happen to a certain point stuck behind a table at 7am in the morning. Interaction outside of the room is the real key to generating real referral work in the chapter.